An irresistable sense of mission...perhaps

What a day to travel. I had to remove my toothpaste and moisturizering cream along with everything liquid or gel. I feel grateful that my flight is undisturbed. So far, it is on time.

We processed our experience today. Mostly I was so greatful to be with this group of brave, caring clergy who want so badly to serve to alleviate dischord, hate and to provide connection and love. And we didn't do it perfectly, but we attempted. There were risky conversations and fear but more than anything there was the commitment to listen and to be present. Even at times to put on the shoes of the other even when it was painful and eye opening. Compared to the WorldPride experience, these folks with all of our flaws managed to create a shared community.

We spoke of the need for a more feminist discourse and ways to make other voices present. Balancing needs of this and that. But the hope for progress of queer folks (including straight allies) to bridge gaps that most shy away from is so tangible. I look forward to working on the expansion of this pilgrimage during my sabbatical.

And then there was the WorldPride rally that was at first a gentle gathering with none of the intensity of the wall. People mulled around and hugged each other. People of all ages and ethnicities holding rainbow signs, pink armbands and the like. It was almost like a big queer family picnic.

However, it was disrupted by a band of queer folk who protested because they felt Jerusalem should not have been the home to WorldPride. In red and black they spoke out of the unfairness of the occupation--mind you many of the WorldPride people had signs that also protested the wall and the occupation so draw your own conclusions. A small tussle broke out and people started running, especially because people were on edge. Someone fainted. We left (mostly because I had to in order to catch my plane).

As I travel I leave you with this Chinese Poem by Shu Ting

for the loneliness of an author
Perhaps...
Perhaps these thoughts of ours
will never find an audience
Perhaps the mistaken road
will end in a mistake
Perhaps the lamps we light one at a time
will be blown out, one at a time
Perhaps the candles of our lives will gutter out
without lighting a fire to warm us.

Perhaps when all the tears have been shed
the earth will be more fertrile
Perhaps when we sing praises to the sun
the sun will praise us in return
Perhaps these heavy burdens
will strengthen out philosophy
Perhaps when we weep for those in misery
we must be silent about miseries of our own.

Perhaps
Because of our irresistable sense of mission
We have no choice

Headed Home

The WorldPride rally is this evening. Afterwards, I hop in a cab to the airport and head home.

Shabbat is coming....

I look forward to seeing many of you soon.

Warmly,

Joshua

Testing, testing 123

After the movie, I dined with my friends at a Georgian restaurant—the Russian kind! No fried chicken and greens here! The waitress overheard us speaking about gay synagogues and she said, “You guys are bored making up such crazy things!” I pointed to my friend and said he is a gay rabbi (he was not) and that it is not made up. She, a secular Israeli, looked shocked and horrified. “There is only ONE Judaism, the rest is bullshit!” I smiled and said there has never been ONE Judaism. I was playful with her and not so serious; it kept things light. When she came with the check, she said there is only one Torah but before she could finish I said but she has 70 faces in Hebrew. “Why can’t one of those faces be of a handsome gay man?” pointing to my friend. She began to rebut and I said turn it, turn it and turn it again- everything is in it! This was from the ethics of the ancestors she nodded. I guess, but it still doesn’t seem right.

Afterwards, a friend Roni, joined us. A very handsome Israeli man who was very bright and articulate about the civil rights that gay folks have in Israel---far more than in the US.
We went to a bar called Joshua and met up with more friends of Roni’s. Including a 20 year man named Adam, also gay and in the military. I sat next to him and his gun strapped on his shoulder. It was amusing and sad thinking about having a casual dinner with your friends and your rifle on your person. Of course, this is nothing out of the ordinary for many Israelis.

From there I went to Shushan, where I met many of the drag queens of Jerusalem. Adam announced that I was a rabbi and that fascinated the drag queens—especially the one who had performed Tina Turner: Iman or his drag name was Queen of Sheba. Iman was Muslim of African and Palestinian descent. Identifying as gay, he was also married with 3 kids. I met Gil and several others I cannot remember.

Inside, I met with Dror, a man with whom I spoke for 3 hours. Managing a restaurant, he was also in school to become a ceramicist and a ceramics teacher. I began to ask him about his political views. He said, “I am not very political.” But then he began to tear up a little as he shared his brother was just called for reserve duty and was going into be part of the ground troops in Lebanon. He explained that in Israel many secular women ask what would be worse to have a gay son or a religious son? He explained that his mother was going straight to heaven because she had both. (His sister works in a sex toy store?!)

Dror, was 30 had a boyfriend (which wouldn’t have come up if I didn’t ask). His family lived in Northern Israel near Abulafia where he was born, which had been bombed. His parents were moving in between homes in Jerusalem and Tel Aviv. After talking about all different topics Dror returned to the larger conflict and said in this bar I have many Palestinian friends at my restaurant I have workers who are Arabs and they are wonderful people. If I am political, I have to hate them, but how can I they are good people. Everything is too complex here, people don’t understand.

He looked at me with earnest open eyes widened, his lips trembling a bit and said, “Joshua, being born here in this country is a test. Everyone of us is being tested, Arab and Jew. It is a test. An impossible test.”

Saints and Sinners

Saints and Sinners

Last night there was no formal schedule so I decided to join two friends of mine from the States to see one of the movies for the WorldPride Film Festival. Joining us was a very interesting guy who was the Jerusalem editor for the Economist. We went to see the movie Saint 9/11.

The movie was a documentary about the life of Father Mychal Judge, the Franciscan who was the chaplain to the NYC Fire Department and who subsequently died in the twin towers because he was serving his men. This is even more poignant when he was offered the chance to leave the twin tower site with Mayor Guilliani, but he chose to stay.

I was moved by his story despite the very traditional format of the documentary. Throughout the movie there was this juxtaposition of his incredible generosity and his average “guy” status. In fact, there are several times when he refers to himself as a sinner, which was ironic because I had been wearing a T-shirt with a sense of irony that had sinner emblazoned on it. (We got a chuckle out of this.)

Father Judge was a charismatic man of the people who ministered to the homeless, the desperate, the ill and who became an ambassador of New York. And while the movie dealt with his humanity, like his being gay or his alcoholism, it was never in a complex or fully satisfying way. I believe that despite his willingness to admit his shortcomings, the film used his trials to show his triumphs without the struggle or pain in order to beatify him—at least as a gay saint. That is all said and good, but there are suggestions in the movies that this is not what father Judge would have wanted.

It was never clear how he reconciled his participation in Dignity or his ministry to people with AIDS as one of the first loving and affirming ministers treating people with GRID and then AIDS with dignity and humanity with his later turn as a chaplain to the fire fighters to whom he hid his gayness in total.

What impressed me about this man, who had both Clintons speak about him at his funeral, is that he was not one who sought out the elite or awards or the spotlight. He went about serving and his work. I wonder where this spirit is within the GLBT clergy community—is there a humility amongst us? I take this to heart as I saw in his life ways I do not live up to the selflessness he represented.

Everything in Moderation

The interfaith convocation (lacking Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu voices) for WorldPride has been held at the campus of HUC (the reform rabbinical seminary) in Jerusalem. They have been the optimal hosts and speaks so well of the Reform movement’s commitment to GLBT people. It has been impressive and I have been grateful to them for taking the lead.

When we arrived just on time to begin, the last panel had not yet finished. I gathered the speakers together, two of who were from my group, Rev Leanne Tigert (a UCC pastor, psychotherapist, author and professor) and Rev. Joseph Tolton, the founder of Harlem’s first GLBT church which is Pentecostal and progressive. Joining them was Rev. Pat Bumgardner from MCC NYC and Rabbi Ayelet Cohen, the assistant at CBST in NYC. I explained to them that it was my goal to maximize audience participation and that I was going to limit their times towards that end. This was agreed upon by all but then several people felt like they needed to tell me how to moderate.


I think sometimes there is an infantilization of younger rabbis by older rabbis. Also, I can’t help but feel like there is a thirst for starshine or to be seen as “THE LEADER” of the LGBT civil rights faith struggle and so people don’t engage with each other as colleagues but as potential competition. For the most part we are all good folks with good intent doing good work—there is a great deal more outreach to each other that would benefit both ourselves and the GLBT movement.

Perhaps it is because for many of us the struggle has been an isolated and individual one that has been lonely. It is sink or swim in many ways or at the least sink or obey your elders. While I regularly learn from my GLBT colleagues, especially other rabbis, I don’t always find it refreshing or possible to let my guard down. Furthermore, we could (myself included) practice our Tzimtzum, a mystical concept of diminishing the space one takes up. This is in order to make room for something else to emerge like God did in order for creation to form in a mystical framework. However, it is hard to banish a well entrenched sense of hierarchy that most people are comfortable with having.

The panelists spoke about liturgical and ritual innovation and tradition from their perspectives. Ayelet spoke about CBST’s new siddur that is in the works. It sounds like a phenomenal project that will have great ramifications and serve as a powerful Jewish liturgical resource. In particular she spoke of something that a few folks found troubling, but I loved, which was changing some of the verses in l’cha dodi to remove the reference to groom and bride. I eagerly await its printing.

During the questions, which we got to because people kept to their time as I gently nudged them, I was able to speak about the Pride Seder and our ability to include allies and transgendered people in the narrative of our liberation. Before wrapping up I received a note that Exodus, the straight to gay org was present and that I should welcome them in order to notify them. I did at the end saying that our values is to welcome all people in the image of God and that we should hope that they and we are treated with that framework as the beginning. Though we might not agree on things, that their presence should be respectful and also treated as respectful with those that they engage with and that hopefully it will be a learning experience for them.

Afterwards, it was as if I had won an Olympic event called the Uphill Moderation. People were effusive with their praise on the running of the panel. Despite their initial concern, I was told that I was the guy for the job in the future. Don’t worry I didn’t let the compliments get to my head, mostly because I believe in all things in moderation.

Banging my head against the wall

Banging my head against the wall

My hotel, is towards the center of town across from the Conservative movement’s Israeli portion of their seminary. It is also near a large intersection and around the corner is the PM’s house. There have been many protests right here. Women in Black* have a regular protest daily except Shabbat. Also there has been folks protesting off and on for a peaceful resolution to the current situation with Lebanon. There have been counterdemonstrations to them; however, a large group came and has staged a vigil outside of the hotel last night and today. Walking back from a dinner after a long day around 11pm, there were a group of Orthodox Jews wearing orange with posters that said “We Demand Victory”, “Say no to a ceasefire”, “Defeat our Arab Enemy” all in Hebrew. They had aluminum pans of kugel and potatoes and sleeping bags for the kids, one of whom eagerly declared, “We get to stay up all night!”

In the morning a different set of people bedecked in orange were handing out literature and bumper stickers. Most of them appeared to be Orthodox women, perhaps numbering a minyan (LOL). They identified as the Women in Green.**

I woke up early to join other queer folk for a demonstration at the Wall. Many rabbis who are here for WorldPride were present and one other from my group and 3 of the Christians. I have to say the lack of complexity in which it was handled seemed very sad to me. While they had informative speakers on our buses explaining about the organization that had led my previous tour Ir Amim/City of Nations or Peoples,*** the purpose of the rally itself was less than clear and I am question its meaning . The wall is something that is supported by most Israelis; however, not in its current form or plan, necessarily. There are people in Ir Amim who want as they say a "dignified divorce" and a viable situation. They don't protest the wall just the intentional undue burdens of separating people from olive groves, family members and the strategic creation of barriers to contiguity in the West Bank and to diminish the rapid population rate in E. Jerusalem.
I had the sense that many folks did not quite know why they were there in its complexity. It seemed as one large photo-op and interview site for people and from someone who witnessed on the side I was discomforted by what felt like a competition for pictures taken and reporters spoken to. Furthermore, I was saddened by what seemed like an unfortunate encounter with mother and daughter. The Mom had some pictures drawn by the 7 year old girl that said “Love Without Borders” and “Share land”. And she encouraged her daughter to hold one up, but her daughter was much more interested in holding the big rainbow ones with similar messages in English, Hebrew and Arabic. She picked one up and it was heavy and put it back down and walked away. The mom called her back and said, “Don’t you want to hold a sign?” “No”, she replied sullenly. “But you have to hold one. You can hold one of yours.” She began to pout and her mom nodded her head as if to say, “come on, you can do it.” She picked a sign up, a large one and with her mom stood in front of all the people.

The photographers clicked away while I looked on at this staged scenario in mild disgust. Children should not be used as propaganda and it was so clearly premeditated that it felt manipulative and not in the child’s best interest. Do not get me wrong, it is great to bring children to protests, but to use them is exploitive.

Another person asked me what his sign said, since many were in Arabic. (Sorry for those I am about to offend, please skip if you do not like abrasive, sarcastic profanity) I think it says, “Handjobs, 5 dollars!” This got a good laugh, but looking around seeing most of the signs in Arabic with rainbow colors in English speaking hands felt contrived. Nothing was spoken at the wall, except for the chatter of reporters and their subjects. The one request of me, I turned down. Upon getting back on the bus, one rabbi must have felt similarly as she said sarcastically, “Well, now that we did this I can feel good again. On with our day.” A person responded by telling her it was too early for cynicism, where I replied with yes, unless you have 2 sugars with that cup of cynicism.

We made it back for me to moderate the panel where none of the speakers new ahead of time they were speaking.

* Women in Black is an international peace network. Women in Black is not an organization, but a means of mobilization and a formula for action. Women in Black vigils were started in Israel in 1988 by women protesting against Israel’s Occupation of the West Bank and Gaza. Women in Black has developed in countries such as Italy, Spain, Germany, England, Azerbaijan, Colombia, and in FR Yugoslavia, where women in Belgrade have stood in weekly vigils since 1991 to protest war and the Serbian regime’s policies of nationalist aggression. Women in Black groups have formed in many cities in the United States since September 11th. Women in Black New York have been holding vigils in solidarity with our sisters throughout the world since 1993.

** Women for Israel's Tomorrow (Women in Green) is a rapidly growing grassroots women's movement -- grandmothers, mothers, wives, and daughters; housewives and professionals; secular and religious -- all bound together by a shared love, devotion and concern for Israel. We are not affiliated with, nor do we support, any particular political party. We have chapters throughout Israel and abroad, including Los Angeles, New York, Chicago and Toronto. We also have many men among our supporters.
In existence only since late 1993, the Women for Israel's Tomorrow, a registered non-profit organization, has accomplished a great deal. In addition to weekly street theater and public demonstrations, we write weekly articles, commission posters, advertise in newspapers, and lecture to groups in order to educate the electorate on the consequences of certain government policies, such as abandoning the Golan Heights for an illusory promise of peace, and pandering to Arafat, without requiring him to live up to his obligations under the Oslo Accords. We insist that Israel remain a Jewish state. We are actively and intimately connected with the fight to preserve a united Jerusalem. We support and encourage the brave Jewish community in the ancient city of Hebron, and sponsor annual Hanukkah and Purim parties with gifts and professional entertainment for the isolated Jewish children in that community.
Our movement is dedicated to the security and Jewish heritage of historic Israel, and we are outspoken in support of our cause. We are popularly known as the "Women in Green" because of the green hats we wear.
A leading Hebrew newspaper, Maariv, has described us as "the most authentic and exciting popular resistance movement to have arisen here (in Israel) in the last few years".
*** Ir-AmimIr Amim (“City of Nations” or “City of peoples”) was founded in order to actively engage in those issues impacting on Israeli–Palestinian relations in Jerusalem, and on the political future of the city. Ir Amim seeks to render Jerusalem a more viable city even under the dire current circumstances, while generating and promoting a more politically sustainable Jerusalem in the future.Ir Amim is a professionally driven organization, unaffiliated with any political party or institution. It is comprised of professionals and lay activists -- attorneys, planners, architects, educators, social scientists and concerned citizens -- who are devoted to “Jerusalem on a human scale.” That is, to a city shared by two collectives, Israeli and Palestinian, not only in the future, but today.Ir-Amim works in three directions in the service of these goals:
·
Exposing the complexities of East Jerusalem to various publics – including through study tours of the area for Knesset members, senior government officials, journalists, the general public and diplomatic missions.
·
Preventing the creation of unilateral “facts on the ground,” that will prevent future prospects for achieving settlements on the status of Jerusalem.
·
Strengthening civil society organizations in East Jerusalem -- toward a more workable and equitable city.

The GLBT Faces of Interfaith

Tonight’s opening panel was for the Interfaith part of WorldPride was attended by 200 people. Many of them I recognized from NYC when I was an intern at GLBT synagogue in NY, CBST or from Philly.

Rabbi Sharon Kleinbaum- the rabbi of CBST

Bishop Zachary Jones- A Unity Church bishop from NYC

Rev. Pat Bumgardner- An MCC minister in NYC

Irshad Manji- A muslim dissident, journalist

These were the speakers who spoke profoundly and charismatically about transforming the world as queer and rejecting the hatred that the people of faith, especially the vitriol that has been spewed by Jerusalem’s most conservative leaders. There was talk about the God of Love. Sharon welcomed us and remarked on the courage and the power of the moment. Zachary spoke about being pure of heart. Pat strongly invited us to take on a larger civil rights platform and gave a different and loving reading of the gospel. Irshad entertained with family stories and with the ability to engage the “detractors” in having conversations. While the wind was chilly, their words were fiery with intensity. It was an open air queer revival! Can I get an AMEN?

It was a good start. Looking at the calendar of events for tomorrow, I see that I am moderating a panel that I was not aware of only to find out that the participants also were not aware of either. Odd! It is about creative and renewing liturgy for queer folks.

Good night folks.