Ascent, assent, and descent--It's all decent

It is quiet and still even with the window open. I am up at 3:30 and armed with only 3 hours of sleep. This happened on my last trip. I could take an ambien, but I prefer for the natural rhythms to resume. The hotel was teeming with Israeli children, most of them orthodox who well until midnight were running around causing all sorts of mischief and making noise in the hallways. Many of them were carrying Israeli flags; their had been a rally earlier in the day.
The van driver, who said his name too quickly for me to be sure whether it really is Jon or not picked me up at the airport. I moved quickly through passport control, baggage claim and customs to a crowd of Israelis totally blocking our exit. A joyful reunion with a young man and his girlfriend was accentuated by the bouncing balloon that he had brought her. What a great guy the van driver was. He began to talk to me about the conflict and his time in the army during the 90s up north. We determined that he was stationed close to the kibbutz that Hebrew U had arranged for us to stay for a night where we were ushered into the bomb shelter for an hour. We could hear small missile hitting their targets into the night.
As he spoke of the rally in Jerusalem, he explained how meaningful it was for tourists to be in Israel at this time. He couldn’t blame people for not coming and canceling trips (a large part of my group cancelled at the last minute including Transcendence, the Transgendered Gospel Choir) but those of who came lifted the hopes of the Israeli people and then he took his eyes off the road for a moment and looked at me and added, “in a deeply spiritual way, you know.”
Israelis will often dive into deep topics right away, especially if they sense they can trust you. We continued our conversation as he pointed out the building of a new train that will transport people from Jerusalem to Tel Aviv in 25-30 minutes rather than the 70-80 minutes the “inefficient train” that runs now. He confessed that he came from a strongly secular family and how frustrating it was for the ultra right religious folks to control so much of the country and explained how secular people go to Cypress to get married rather than deal with the embarrassing and naïve discussions Orthodox rabbis will have like explaining what sex will be like the first time, though both partners usually are far from being virgins. Though on the other hand, he reflected how challenging it is for progressive rabbis who come in and do “questionable” conversions for large groups of people just so they can come to Israel. I wondered if he was referring to the remaining Ethiopian Jewish community.
Upon asking about my life in Atlanta, I told him I was rabbi which elicited hearty laughter. “No disrespect, I think that is wonderful, but I still can’t get past rabbis without beards.” He told me about how he is beginning to study daf yomi/ a daily page of Talmud on the internet and looking for ways to connect to Judaism. When I asked where he lived, he began to tell me how he does not have a “family” yet. Still single, he expressed a bit of resignation though his mom had coached him to add a yet to the not instead of losing all hope. Instead he said he was married to his job.
“What about you?” I told him I was also single. “Ah, of course as a rabbi, you must be married to your job, too.” I was silent and let he whole conversation slide. Though at the end of the evening the topic came back up from a different source. Rabbi Steve Greenberg, asked me if I was single as well. When I said yes, a pain looked swept over his face as he sympathized how difficult it was. I smiled and said, “It is less so now.” But his anguish on my behalf did touch a place that still exists. He looked at me and said “With everything you do, it is too much to bear alone.” “I have some great friends; I live with someone who is like my brother.” He shook his head in dissent saying it is different. I agreed but said, “for now, I am focusing on what I have not on what I don’t.”
The evening did not begin so heavily. I met my group, a gay Catholic priest Londoner, a lesbian UCC minister in New Hampshire, a former teacher of mine with whom I studied Modern Thought, Feminist Hermeneutics, and Sexual Ethics, a Latino Theologian, a straight Jewish woman with a PhD in Rabbinic Judaism/Early Christianity, a gay orthodox rabbi/author and our guide who is a Jewish text teacher and historian. There is still one more to join us. Over dinner we shared a little about or paths and our expectations of the pilgrimage. I am with some incredibly bright people. Dinner was al fresco overlooking the old city. My red tuna encrusted with sesame seed and pomegranate was scrumptious. (Would this be a Jewish blog without any mention of food?)
For a group that has just met we were laughing and trading stories. We ended the evening by answering the question: “Is gay community one of descent or assent? Communities of descent are characterized either by blood lines, embodiment or intrinsic aspects of people but not bound by a common belief system or behavior whereas assent is a community that comes together with common ground, values and beliefs. What do you think?

More to come….